Monday, March 30, 2009

Oh, Monday. You're too good to me.

My stress seems to manifest in new ways all of the time. I suppose this is meant to keep me on my toes.

Today, my jaw decided to lock up. All of a sudden while driving, moving my jaw became excruciating. Given my already existing jaw problems, the added stress of clenching my jaw and teeth was enough to cause the muscle to freak out. And today was not the best of days as it involved menstruation, taxes, and my current feelings about my relationship status. It all just seemed to culminate on this glorious Monday.

Some Advil and menthol cream later, I'm still trying to soften it up. I'm predicting it's going to take a few days, in fact. However, with the craziness of Festival del Sol, I need to keep it together. The High Tech High students have this crazy Festival in order to present all their hard work and I'm sure many will be close to tears by Thursday evening.

I just hope this clears up soon. If not, well, I might as well start looking for a long-term remedy now. Stress prevention is my next project.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

you just don't understand

Holly lent me an interesting book titled You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation. I've only just started it, but I'm intrigued. I'm sure I'll update this with my musings and rants on Tannen's subject matter.

However, Holly did mention that the book is structured to induce frustration. Or so it seems that way. I have an older copy so the pages are a yellowy-beige (note: old texts mean sage advice!) and it reads like a fiction novel. Usually, when it comes to non-fiction texts like this one, I like the reading to be broken up into small sections. I ready slowly and therefore the space in text provides me with a place to come up for some air. I like to read whole chapters and will rarely stop in the middle of one, unless perhaps there is a substantial section break. Perhaps I'm a tad obsessive in that way.

I have about 4 novels I'm in the middle of right now. I should probably be more proactive about finishing those. But laziness is just so delicious!

Another text that is really great Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High. My supervisor has this in her office and we all, students and teachers, have been benefiting from it.

Happy reading!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

windows resemble empty eyes


moss and green slowly
mask the truth of stone castles.
love slumbers inside.

(photo: lahnna epolito, sintra, portugal)

creating bridges

It's the same with any relationship. You build one. You feed it. You nurture it. You do what you have to do if it is what you want. It grows. It creates purpose. It inspires us. It teaches us about who we are. It's painful, and magical, and agonizing, and unfathomable. You do crazy things, you wear your heart on your sleeve, you beg and plead, you cry, you bleed. You'll need space and time, you need standards. It'll make you scream and laugh at the same time. You'll know everything you've ever needed to know and nothing at the same time. You'll be a monster, the very person you never wanted to become. You'll hate it. You'll hurt people and let yourself be hurt. You'll make bad decisions. Maybe you'll abuse someone, maybe you'll cheat, maybe you won't do anything. This is what it's about. It's love. It's not supposed to be perfect. There's no norm, no instruction manual, no "pause" button, no rules. You're on your own.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

it's true. i'm looking forward to eating a bagel for breakfast tomorrow.

Today was a good day. Slept in. Called Patrick's parents, gave them my thanks for all their help and got some insightful advice. Bought some cute cute shirts! Ate some RIBS! Won an In 'n Out gift card!

I promised a student my undying allegiance, and must arrive bright-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow morn.

With teeth brushed and face scrubbed, I sleep.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

essential

T-Rex's Busy Day. So essential.

a day to breathe

Today. Today is the first day I've had all to myself. Sitting. And thinking. And being alone.

There is freedom in being alone and there is sadness.

Things to do to keep my mind at ease:

1. Not smoke
2. Eat chocolate eggs
3. Not smoke
4. Yoga
5. Arrested Development