Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Kickin' my brain's ass.

I gotta say, I love free downloads. Thanks for the new indie tunes, Landmark.

In other news, it is time to resume my workout schedule. I broke my streak and smoked too many cigarettes last week, leading to lung frustration, leading to Lahnna frustration. My anxiety never becomes more manageable the more cigarettes I smoke. I've gotten incredibly used to this bullshit notion that it "calms" the user down. This is a complete fallacy. The only thing smoking a cigarette does is allow the smoker to confuse necessity with desire.

I have no physical dependency on tobacco. I don't shake when I don't smoke at regular intervals. I don't get irritable. Hell, I don't even know how people find the time to smoke an entire pack in a 24-hour period. I reach for a cigarette when I'm 1. bored, or 2. telling myself that smoking one will quell my anxiety. This is an entirely mental thing and I need to stop BS-ing myself.

There are a million and one things I could be doing in place of puffing away. Art, reading, writing, looking for a job, eating ice cream, running, yoga-ing, playing Scrabble, thinking of Joe... you get it. A much more respectable agenda, don't you think? Time to log some sleep hours and get started.

1 comment:

  1. If a desire is strong enough, it can morph into a necessity... I say this from my bed, out of cigarettes, craving one, but not quite motivated enough to walk a mile for a new pack. Tomorrow morning it will be a mandatory errand!