Unemployed: A Love/Hate Dynamic

Many of my friends now know that I have recently left my position as General Manager for a restaurant located in California's South Bay, and that I am now questing for a new job, preferably one that will allow me to stretch my managerial wings even further. I learned a lot over the year and a half that I dedicated to my last position, but the fact of the matter was that I had no more room to expand.

I was introduced as a barista and my work experience combined with my love of all things food-related and customer service propelled me into management. In a way, I could see the end far before I got there. To be a GM for a family-owned operation means that there is an end, but where there is an end lies another beginning, to be positively existential about the matter.

In the mean time, as I apply for jobs, pester hiring managers, and await responses, I have taken to relaxing and soaking up my free time. I spent the better part of a year stressing my body out and allowing important areas of my life to atrophy: relations with friends, my emotional health... Hell, I couldn't even call my mother on a decent schedule. I don't want to wither away out of frustration and greed and fear. Fear. I know it all stems from the ever-looming fear that only affluence equals happiness. Such an ideal is not true, I know, but it is a difficult battle to fight when so many seem to give into it.

All of this tension surrounding how to live and how to live better than your neighbor leaves a sense of unease about me. I cycle through feelings of disenchantment and ardor toward the world. A dilemma that will only no longer be a dilemma when I stop seeing it as such. It is getting easier though...

applying myself.

So, there has been good news and great news in the life of little ol' LahnnaBell.

Liberty Mutual is still allowing me to collect to get my car fixed. Which means all I have to do is shell out for the deductible, and the rest is set. Mission Hills Collision Center, I heart you. Bella will have an new ass soon. And then shortly thereafter, I become a California citizen.

Got MS Office for little Mac here and I've got a sweet new resume to send out. There are a few positions I'm gunning for and hopefully whoever does the hiring has the good sense to know that I am awesome. I wish you could e-mail an aura. Mine would smell of night-blooming jasmine and radiate sunshine. If only...

I get a phone upgrade next month. Blackberry?

Gonna watch Bleach until I can't keep my eyes open anymore.

Much love!